Many of us joke that LBGT is really LBGTQRSTUV. In some ways it is not a joke.
I write this blog because I see that the level of sexual confusion in the society around me is at a very high level and many young people have a justifiable fear of sex. I have particular concern for my grandchildren.
Sex education focuses on teaching about sexually transmitted disease and pregnancy. Neither are about sex.
Sex, 99% of the time does not involve either. It is the 99% that is not taught which leaves many young people with fear or anxiety. Men are told in a variety of media that they must satisfy their sexual partner. Women are told in the same media that they can reach an orgasm with the proper stimulus.
Here are the facts:
We Americans live in a Puritan society that teaches, in our deepest mental regions, that 'other people experiencing sexual pleasure is a taboo subject.' Therefore open discussion of the details of sexual enjoyment is a widespread taboo subject.
The Puritan taboo is real. In a project at Stanford, there were three groups with pre and post survey interviews. In one group, sexually explicit films were shown and sexual discussion became open and enthusiastic in the follow-up interviews. In another, National Geographic films with no sex were shown. The viewers in this group showed a movement to anti-sexual attitudes in the post interviews because they knew that another group had seen sex films. The third group, off campus, only had the pre and post questioning. Their sexual attitudes were slightly more sex positive in the post interviews merely because of the survey questions.
Kinsey, who applied genuine data collection to the field of sex, found two things of great relevance. Men and women all fall on a spectrum of sexual desire from strong heterosexual desire on one end to strong homosexual desire on the other end. Without sexual taboos most people can move anywhere along the spectrum.
I know from experience in a non-Puritan society, such as Japan, ordinary women and men move comfortably back and forth on this spectrum. I've seen white collar office working men kiss and fondle other men while drunk on subways at night, often strangers. I've seen mature ordinary women doing the same, including sleeping comfortably with other women. I saw several men, who having lived a decade with a male lover, were told by their parents to get married to a woman. Thenceforth they had satisfying sex with their wives.
At the same time Kinsey also found that the intensity of sexual desire is a distribution curve with absolutely no sexual desire on one part of the curve to some men and women at extremes, nearly beyond imagination on the other end of the curve.
There are men who can get a dozen erections and orgasms a day. There are women who can do much more.
A close friend had one female sexual partner who had 20 orgasms in a row; when he stopped counting, she had one more. I've seen reliable films where a woman and her partner had even more orgasms in a row. I know of orgies in America where most men were exhausted after one or two orgasms and women were still sexually excited after many more and looking for a new partner.
The sexual landscape is made up of shifting sexual attractions and extremes of sexual behaviors. There are men and women who have orgasms with no outward expression and others who scream at the top of their lungs and still others who faint.
What are the sources of sexual stimulation? Again, the variation is extreme.
One woman was observed stimulated to orgasm by playing with the palm of her hand. In three other cases, using every form of stimulation known to man, including vibrators, no orgasm seemed possible.
Every part of the body can be a source of sexual stimulation as can every form of imagination.
Only experimentation can determine the extent of sexual satisfaction for any individual.
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