In my (and Rasberry’s) book the Seven Laws of Money the 6th Law is that you can’t really receive money as a gift. The law is describing a reality of life. All money that purports to be a gift really has expectation behind it. If those expectations are ignored there are negative consequences that emerge from the milieu around us or from our own pre-conscious self.
One of the most troubling areas where I see this law of money come into play is around inheritance.
The problem of inheritance relates to an old Arab curse that I love and nearly worship: ‘May you be involved in a lawsuit where you believe with certainty that you are right.’
Inheritance creates a specific problem. The heirs didn’t earn the money and as with all lives that are not authentic, when the money comes it creates its own unfulfillable expectations.
If the donor wants the heirs to be in the family business, that has to begin early. If the donor wants the heirs to be comfortable, that can only happen if the heirs have the skills and talents to cope with the world. Also that requires early training.
What do I mean? When you win a lottery or a MacArthur grant, the money will destroy you UNLESS you are already a fully developed person who goes on with your life and just adds the money to what you are doing already.
People who are living with the expectation of an inheritance seldom become fully developed people. They don’t find their authentic self. They are still waiting for a part of themselves, their inheritance.
Money is only language. It is not character, direction or meaning. It can be used just as new words can be used, but it is really only new words.
Inheritances, no matter how well designed are usually devastating. The family falls to fighting and the lawyers get good work. The destruction of the family is tragic and harmful to all involved.
The only benefit of inheritance is to reinforce good behavior and good values that already exist. That is also true for all philanthropy.