socia
I'm waiting for a good book on the subject of apologies.
One of the best subjects on a issue was a Seinfeld program that took three different perspectives on whether an apology was genuine.
I feel the issue is straightforward. Alcoholics anonymous has a requirement that a full apology be made to all people that the alcoholic has harmed. Before Rosh Hashanah it is also expected that Jews apologize to anyone they have harmed in the previous year. The ruling on whether an apology is accepted is that the apology can be left unaccepted after three attempts to offer it.
I think that both of these examples make it clear that an apology deals with a real transaction. Some genuine harm must have been caused by one person to another or to a group of others. This automatically disqualifies the standard political bullshit 'I apologize to anyone who may have been harmed". You cannot apologize for all harm that did not occur or is imaginary. You must apologize for real harms.
The other element of apology deals with sincerity. There is no way to define sincerity anymore than there is a way to define truth. That is why the acceptance of an apology is so important. The person or group harmed must accept the apology as evidence that the apology was offered sincerely. The Jewish rule of three offers of apology without acceptance is sufficient is a good measure of how the issue can be resolved.
An apology must relate to a real harm. It must be perceived and admitted by the person who did the harm and spelled out so there's no ambiguity, as is so common in politics. The apology must be accepted as evidence of his sincerity. However the upper limit is three apologies. After that the apology is accepted automatically whether treated as sincere by the recipient or not.
Apologies are very important. They are an acknowledgment of efforts to behave without harming others and efforts to improve
The reason we teach children to apologize is for them to learn self-reflection. They need to reflect on the situtation that generated the apology. This is true for all apologies, society needs people to have self-reflection skills.