I was thinking about some similes I know that are
outdated. ‘Useless as a witch’s
tit.’ That makes no sense to me because
the witches I know have normal breasts and nipples.
‘Like a chicken with its head cut off.’ I saw a chicken with its head cut off when I was a kid and chickens were more common but the Animal Lover Societies would never let such a sight be shown in the movies or on TV; so most people will never see what the simile means.
So I came up with a substitute for the first: ‘Useless as a spigot on a telephone pole.’ The second one could be: ‘Like a butterfly in a strong breeze.’
I can’t resist a political simile about disarray: ‘As well organized as a Palestinian peace movement.’
There is a simile website that has many new, but mild similes.