A week or two back, David Brooks raised the issue of female
childbearing misery. The best time to
find a man and have children is early. The most successful career is a continuous one with long hours and
intense commitment. To conflate,
confuse and try to solve the conflict of these two realities is the source of
much female misery in our time. (My daughters and female friends included.)
There is one policy that would help: allow women to postpone
payments on college loans for each child until the child is five years old.
That would allow many women to have children right out of college.
The other change is more significant and cannot be policy. It is a change in the habits of the heart. Women who are strong, ambitious and successful should start taking husbands who are not the main bread winner, but who are loyal, reliable and able to raise children.
This change in habits of the heart will bring a great deal
of happiness to many women.
If you are over thirty, successful, self-supporting and content, except for wanting babies, then start looking for a man who meets your needs in dialog, sex and outlook. Add the qualities of loyalty, dependability and comfort with kids. These last three attributes are easy to check and be sure of … they are highly visible, always evident, and never in doubt. Marry the guy, right now, and have kids.